cannotcrossdress | ✿002 [Video] (FAIL-LOCKED AWAY FROM THOSE OF THE MALE PERSUASION)

[Chizuru seems uncomfortable appearing on the network - and not in the usual "Chizuru being socially awkward" way. Like, in the squirmy, shifty, ants-in-your-pants uncomfortable way. Why can't she seem to sit still?]

I think I need some--I mean, where can I find binding fabric? Bandages tend to work just fine, but typically something a little less stretchy, thicker, stiffer fabric--for binding my breasts down, I mean. [In case it wasn't obvious.]

[She looks up in thought, digressing to an aside.] ...though I guess dressing as a boy isn't entirely necessary here. It's not exactly Kyoto or anything...[Allegedly it's just as dangerous, but Chizuru's yet to see that for herself.]

Ahaha...! [Oops, was she talking to herself?] I dunno, what do you think? I haven't worn girl's clothes in a few years now...I don't even know what'd be considered 'normal' for a girl my age to wear these days? Should I aim for kimono like back home, or should I aim to dress like--well, whatever the "natives" here are...[Hmm. Are there any natives? Everyone dresses so differently here, it's hard to tell who's from where.]

What do you think? Should I just stick with what I know? [Though dressing like a girl...well, she did kind of miss it, but she doesn't want to make her housemates uncomfortable with it.]

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He doesn't seem to mind it right now though.

...And he technically is, so I don't see the issue.

Where I am from, we had a female housekeeper at the compound the entire time we were in Kyoto. It's rather nice having someone remind us to be on our better behavior.

[Maybe that's why they have her dress as a boy? So they can behave as normal?]

It was mostly Sannan-san's doing, I think...but...I don't know? Hijikata-san's so tightly-wound right now...

It is up to you in the end, Chizuru-chan. Just because you are not open about it in front of them does not mean they don't realize.

[Also the tightly wound thing...hnngh.]

Just give Hijikata-san some space. I am sure he simply needs time to adjust.

[Such sound, kind advice from this Okita...]

Okita-san, you're very different from the Okita-san I know.

[She's going to have to come up with some way to refer to them differently, but for now this would have to do.]

....[She quirks a brow.] You're not just trying to get my guard down for some mean prank, are you?

[He laughs]

I have been told that many times recently. We are very different, yes.

And if I was going to pull a prank on you, Chizuru-chan, I wouldn't make it so easy to realize.

[If this Okita and the other Okita were to try to prank each other, who would win...?]

I suppose that's a relief, then..?

[Chizuru wonders; how is it possible that these two Okita's are so different? Upbringing? Environment? Something else entirely? It doesn't seem right.]

Don't worry. The people I would prank are no longer here and are likely never to return. You're safe.

[She isn't convinced that this is a good thing.]

I'm sorry.

Hm? Why do you apologize?

It sounds like you had friends here, before now...

...Ah. Yes, but they are where they need to be. It is something I've become used to after all these years.

...how long have you been here, Okita-san?

Mm...Three or four years now, I think.

[There's a startled gasp on the other end, and a long pause. Three or four years in this place? How could they survive? How would they live for that long in this place without their duties and goals?! What about finding her father?!

Finally, Chizuru manages to speak.]

...that's such a long time.

[The answer is? Not. Very. Well.

His voice is much more subdued when he answers her.]

Yes...It has been a very long time.

[And does he sound tired? Because he certainly feels tired. Like every single day of being here has been slowly weighing down on him until he can barely stand it anymore.

--But that's gone in an instant and he's back to sounding cheery as always.]

But if I hadn't stayed, I never would have met all of you, now would I?

That's a very optimistic way of looking at it. [She can't help but question if, like the Okita she knew, it was simply a cover for something darker.]

I never though that I'd meet 'other' Shinsengumi...[She lightly chuckles.] To think that we--that they exist in other realities, in other universes...

[That kind of made her feel, well, better about all the trials they are going through. It meant they were important somehow, didn't it?]

I try to be.

And yes, apparently we are quite famous in many universes and realities. This is the first time I've met another of us, but I have heard many stories of us from many different people.

What did they tell you? I'm genuinely curious.

Oh, you know, the usual "You're famous" or "Wow, I can't believe I get to meet you."

[You lose the major battles and die at an early age while all your friends slowly perish or are executed and all your dreams are for naught.]

They especially seem to enjoy the stories of the Ikedaya.

[Chizuru appears surprised at his answer.] You mean we--you're--they're--not hated in the future? [Sheesh, watch yourself, Chizuru. All this correcting is going to raise red flags. Hijikata'll be livid if this Okita starts asking him questions...]

Really? That was...[Nothing compared to what happened at Toba-Fushimi. But maybe this Okita hasn't gotten to that point.] Did that just happen for you, before you were brought here?

We did what we thought was right and true. We could not be hated for such a thing. [Even if, yeah, they were for a little while.]

If you're asking if I know what is to come, yes I do. But it's unpleasant. Let's not talk about it, hm?

[Chizuru immediately went silent, and she looked down to her hands.] Not many others do. About your future, I mean.

[She looks back up to him.] But don't worry, I swore I'd keep it secret!

Thank you.

....... [About your future. His and the other one... Ah, something they do need to talk about then.]

If he listens to you, have him see a doctor. I can say from experience, it will not be pleasant for him and the doctors here can help.

[Chizuru looks pained at that response.] He has. That's how I know...

[As long as Matsumoto is around -- well, without Yamazaki there, it was all on her, wasn't it?] And...my father is a doctor, and I was his assistant, more or less, so...

Then you know how long he has. If he is like me, his pride will keep him from taking much help, but he does need it. There are clinics here. Perhaps you can help there?

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